1999

November/December Amsterdam Ian McEwan Discussion recapped by Fran

The club met for its combined Nov./Dec. "holiday" meeting at Susan K’s house. Attending for the first time was Anne, who says she enjoyed herself and I think we have to believe her because she offered to host our next meeting! Also attending (besides me, and Susan K) were Susan T, Melissa M, Melissa K, Anne-Marie and Helen (who provided themed snacks - she managed to find windmill cookies that were also delicious -- I had three -- as well as gouda cheese).

Even those who didn't like Amsterdam very much respected it. What prevented many of us from embracing it wholeheartedly was a lack of sympathy with, or even a positive aversion for, the main characters: Vernon, Clive and George (and in some sense, Molly). Weak, cold, evil, lacking in self-perception were the verdicts (not necessarily in that order). In some ways, Clive and Vernon were mirrors of each other - Clive being unable to affirmatively do the right thing (intervene when he witnessed a rape); Vernon being unable to restrain himself from doing the wrong thing (publish private photos for his personal gain). The consensus was that there were NO admirable characters in this novel - even Garmony's wife, the surgeon who saved the lives of little children, was a liar who protected her adulterer husband from political ruin (which we don't approve of fellow alums doing either).

Much of the discussion consisted of questions posed: Was the ending "realistic" both in the sense "Could this happen" and "Did it grow out of effectively portrayed character development?" We expressed skepticism that Holland's euthanasia laws, however liberal, could be so easily abused by such bumbling losers as Clive and Vernon. Answers to the latter question were more mixed: for some of us, the ending ruined the rest of the book as too improbable and bizarre, for others, it added an additional level of interest and provoked much thought. It also served to underlie (or perhaps hammer into our brains) the novel's irony.

We discussed the title - why "Amsterdam"? Proposed alternatives included "Molly,” "Betrayal," "Friendship," and "Male Bonding." The idea that Amsterdam was intended to reflect or symbolize urban emptiness and modern amorality was also introduced. Others protested this, based on their affection for the city as they knew it. We were also warned not to read too much into the title - it was probably chosen by an editor, not the author, in any event.

We discussed the comment (by Clive?) that "personal betrayal is the greatest vice" - can telling the truth operate as a betrayal?
"You're washed up as a composer"
"You're scum if you publish private photos in your tabloid newspaper"
"You're an adulterer who looks really bad in your mistress's clothes."

Other favorable comments included Ian McEwan's writing: the description of Clive's creative processes, the impact of the photos of Garmony; we also appreciated cleverness: the way that Clive's postcard was misread by Vernon.

Finally, some unresolved issues: does the last sentence indicate that George planned the whole thing? Most of us felt not, but it's clear he is going to relish the memorial service he is now free to enjoy without the presence of his wife's former lovers to mar it.
 
 

October The Pilot's Wife Anita Shreve Discussion recapped by Fran

Our October meeting was held last night at Christina's house. We discussed The Pilot's Wife, by Anita Shreve, which was also chosen by Christina. Present were Christina, Susan T, Susan K, Helen, Anne-Marie, Melissa M and Laura. Also present --in body at least-- was Henry Loran, who lost interest after 45 minutes and had to go home, but managed pretty well until that point, although Helen's key ring will probably never be the same.

The general reaction to TPW was positive: the story was absorbing, and the heroine's emotions were vividly portrayed and seemed realistic. We were also fascinated by the themes: how the foundation of one's very identity can be shaken or even destroyed -- how do we really know that what we "know" is in fact real? The various levels on which the book dealt with the theme of betrayal were also explored. We had some minor quibbles with various plotting devices: how could a pilot unknowingly carry a bomb on board a plane in his overnight case, particularly one that would be immediately apparent to the co-pilot upon opening the case? Some of us felt that some of Kathryn's reactions were unrealistic, while others of us violently disagreed (e.g. going through her husband's lover's closet), and that her relationship with Robert was too pat. Her husband's character was also insufficiently fleshed out. Ultimately, while we recognized The Pilot's Wife was not an intellectual tour-de-force, we felt it was entertaining and well-written, and thought-provoking.

FYI: After writing this, I clicked over to amazon.com to check my spelling of Kathryn's name, and read some of the customer reviews, which were quite negative: "unrealistic, blah, and "TV-movie-of the week" were some of the comments." Since we are usually a tough crowd to please, this surprised me. Maybe we don't watch enough TV movies to know.
 
 

September The Question of David: A Disabled Mother's Journey Through Adoption, Family, and Life Denise Sherer Jacobson Discussion recapped by Helen

The Question of David did provoke a lively discussion, which centered primarily on the author's attitudes and assumptions about those around her seeing her as a disability, not a person. A number of people were annoyed by this continual theme. They felt that she came off as self-centered and belligerent with a sense of victimization and a lack of sensitivity to others. Was she displaying the same lack of sensitivity and stereotyping that she criticized in others? Isn't she aware that many people have challenges which they have to deal with daily. Medical people frequently act like jerks, not just to hard to understand mothers in wheel chairs. In Denise's defense, some people pointed out that the world in general, and the bay area in particular, is a lot more enlightened about dealing with people with disabilities now than the New York of her youth. We rarely see older people with CP-perhaps because they were treated like vegetables and confined
to institutions.

The mothers among us were amazed at how perfectly behaved David was reported to be, since driving one's parents to distraction seems to be a universal phenomenon. And even able-bodied mothers doubt their capability to pull off the awesome responsibility they've taken on. They seemed surprised that Denise hadn't sought out other mothers as a resource. (Is it that easy for someone who feels, rightly or wrongly, alienated?) All of us wanted to know more about David and how's he's turning out. (Helen's brief glimpses of his seemingly normal interactions with his parents at temple and in the supermarket hardly filled the gap.)

Briefly we discussed the ethics of allowing a child who might be severely disabled to be adopted by a disabled couple. No conclusions there, but some members worried about whether he would have gotten all the special attention he needed and whether the agency should have looked harder for an alternative when the first couple backed out. And we worried about worrying about it.

A number of people were surprised at Denise's candor about employees and family members, particularly her husband and mother-in-law. It's one thing to fictionalize someone, but imagine having to face them after the whole world have read about your perceptions of their intimate behavior. (Somehow it's not a problem. Neil was happily present at a recent book signing at Diesel.)

P.S. Having spent some time listening to and talking to Denise in safe settings and finding her to be forthright, funny and not defensive, I was surprised that her book conveyed the opposite to so many people. Perhaps because she is so articulate as a writer, we lost sight, as a group, of how challenging it is to understand her. My own experience is that if you are patient and totally focused you get into it fairly easily but I have no trouble believing her perception that people she runs into make false assumptions about her intelligence or try to get on with their business by dealing through an interpreter. Denise has spent a lot of time educating the public about people with disabilities. If you look at her book as using the human interest story about David's adoption as a platform for making those points, it might be more understandable.

I received several follow-up e-mails that continued the discussion. Two members pointed out that Denise is really a very good writer whether you agreed with her or not. One pointed out perhaps her reaction was that the book struck close to her own fears about her own child. Another admitted to liking the book.
 
 

August Death Comes for the Archbishop Willa Cather Discussion recapped by Fran with additional notes from Melissa K

I can't do justice to the discussion (very ably led by Laura), much less to the book, given my minimal memory capabilities these days (minimal, that is, for everything NOT related to Henry - I can tell you how many times he pooped yesterday, for example (three!) but not whether I paid the mortgage this month). Nor is my memory greatly aided by the scanty notes I took on the back of a credit card slip. Nonetheless, here goes...

In general, the book was more liked than disliked. It won praise for its descriptive power, although many complained that emotions were rendered less vividly than landscapes.  We puzzled over the title and some of the symbolism (what was the meaning of the priest's disquiet in the underground cave?).  Some interesting explanations were offered (my notes say "Not Ingmar" and "antediluvian stone turtles") I have also written "Iron cradle" and underscored this several times.

Additional comments
"not Ingmar": in talking about the title, we noted that "death" is not really a character in this book, actually coming in pursuit of the Archbishop -- unlike in Ingmar Bergman's "Seventh Seal", in which death trails after the protagonist.

"antediluvian turtles": a description of the people at one of the churches the Archbishop visits. I can't remember the name of the town...the idea was that the people were living in a very dry area, mostly devoid of resources, had been there for centuries and had the stature of a people resigned to their lot/station/place on earth.
 
 

July No meeting

 

June The Stone Raft Jose Saramago Discussion recapped by Fran

We were down to the heartiest of our hard-core members for last night's meeting: Anne-Marie (who hosted), Susan K (who selected the Stone Raft), and Susan T. I had planned not to come but couldn't stay away - when Henry conked out earlier than scheduled at 8:30, I zipped up the hill to Anne-Marie's house and ate some snacks, listened to the discussion, and read snippets of the book by appropriating Anne-Marie's and Susan T’s copies every time they happened to put them down for a second.

Unlike some of our more difficult selections, the puzzling aspects of The Stone Raft did not appear to interfere too greatly with our members' enjoyment. All three said they found it very entertaining despite the writer's lengthy, convoluted sentence structure, the book's bizarre premise (the Iberian peninsula spontaneously detaches itself from the continent and floats off to sea), and allegorical references that readers were able to sense if not always decipher. I gathered that the "message" of the book related to the futility of humankind's attempts to read meaning into what are essentially random events, chance and coincidence; to be happy in life, we should relax and enjoy what comes - face life with passion rather than plans and goals, because we can't be certain of anything, even the earth under our feet...

Those who actually READ the book, however, are invited to supplement or correct my impressions.
 
 

May How Proust Can Change Your Life Alain De Botton Discussion recapped by Fran

Remembrance of things

This will be an anti-Proustian recap as I can barely remember my own name these days, let alone the details of our wide-ranging discussion of Alain de Botton's "How Proust Can Change Your Life."

Present at the meeting were Anne-Marie (facilitator), Susan T, Susan K, Laura, Melissa K, Fran, and Henry. Henry, who seriously detracted from the discussion's focus, also committed numerous breaches of etiquette. In addition to failing to read the book, such breaches included loudly demanding his own personal snack from the hostess, passing gas, hogging the best seat, and finally, falling asleep in the middle of the discussion about next month's book. His conduct amply demonstrated the wisdom of our "no males" rule.

Susan T and Melissa K supplied wonderful snacks for the rest of the group, including dried cherries, some fabulous cookies as a very satisfactory madeleine substitute, and wine, bread and brie for the French thing. Melissa earns special mention not only for bringing snacks but for travelling out to the East Bay from the city after work and dog-sitting duty. On public transit, no less. In sharp contrast to Proust who could barely leave his bed...

Most of us very much enjoyed the insight into Proust's life and philosophy offered by de Botton. Generally, we agreed that it did indeed "change [our] li[ves]," by increasing our appreciation of the beauty in our daily surroundings, and causing us to examine our everyday discourse for cliches that distort truth and honest communication. We were also fascinated by the insight de Botton gave into Proust as a person. Rather than inspiring us to read Proust, however, most of us seemed more interested in reading a more detailed biography of this very eccentric writer. Criticisms of de Botton included a tendency to sweeping generalization (felt by one member to be particularly odious coming from such a young writer) and his somewhat breezy, informal writing style.
 
 

April The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness Simon Wiesenthal Sorry, no recap

 

March The Unbearable Lightness of Being Milan Kundera Discussion recapped by Melissa K

On April 7, we met and discussed "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera. The underlying themes of this book were of more interest to the group than the story itself, though the story was captivating as well. Some of the group was "not interested in Thomas and his sex life, and found it hard to get beyond that" -- but everyone did, and found themselves enjoying the philosophical meditations that came along with reading the book. To other readers, the book felt too constructed, and she felt like she was being "instructed". The group decided this may not be a bad thing, though, since this book is not just about the story. Some of the group really liked the construction of the book, especially the going back and forth in time as a way of exploring the character's thoughts and feelings and how these changed over time.

Betrayal is the theme that came through the strongest to our group, which makes sense since it is everywhere in the book. Thomas was constantly betraying Tereza, who one time betrays Thomas. Sabina, one of Thomas' lovers, betrays all her lovers. Franz betrays his wife Marie Claude, leaving her for Sabina, only to be left himself. Back in Prague, Thomas' hang up with his Oedipus article found him adrift in a Czechoslovakia now full of people, fellow countrymen and women, betraying each other in the name of Communism (ha) or, more likely, their own safety. We wondered if trust could exist in such a society, and if so, what the nature of it would be. Here we meet Thomas' son, Simon, who dreams only of seeing his father and existing in his world, just as Franz, back in Zurich with a new young lover, dreams only of being seen by Sabina.

Sabina was the only one free of the heaviness that comes with wanting or needing to be part of another person's life. Tereza lives with the heaviness of life because of her past. Thomas' connection to Tereza (love?) brought heaviness to his life. Franz' desperation to be seen by Sabina, and Simon's need to be part of Thomas' life, made their lives heavy. Thomas returned to Prague because Sabina went back, and he felt "it must be" or "ess muss sein". But Sabina's lightness became unbearable to her. And Thomas later questioned his conviction that "ess muss sein". Did it really have to be? Is anything really necessary? We especially liked the "Words Misunderstood" section of the book (Part 3), a melancholy narrative on miscommunication. This section contains attempts at definitions for "Heaviness" and "Lightness", and leads to the realization that there is no one definition for either term, and that it is not necessarily "better" to be either way.

Thomas is a good example of a mixture of heavy and light. Thomas started out self-centered, but progressed and eventually made decisions according to an absolute "right". He became more aware of the consequences his actions brought about for others. Thomas also learned, at least subconsciously, that love lies beyond es muss sein -- it is free. He died with the heaviness of love, but felt light at this point about everything else. Our discussion progressed along with the book, leading us to discuss Thomas' fate along with several ideas about life and human nature.

One idea hit home by this book is that we choose our own fate, but we choose it blind, with each choice being part of a series of coincidences. There are internal goings on, while we constantly second guess ourselves, but we can look back and see that Robert Frost had it right in "The Road Not Taken". Also discussed is the fact that our strengths and weaknesses often come from the same trait -- for example, someone who is very kind may get taken advantage of often (ah, but does this really matter? Kundera could easily lead us down a Zen or Taoist road...)
 
 

February Rising from the Plains John McPhee Discussion recapped by Fran

We discussed John McPhee's Rising From The Plains, chosen by Laura. Everyone agreed the "story" aspect was fascinating and very well written; the geology aspect was more problematic. Many of us were frustrated not to be "taught" more effectively, because McPhee discusses but does not explain his information. Others pointed out the lack of visual aids. Not only was the map (included in some editions) insufficient, photographs would have helped enormously. Laura attempted to remedy this shortcoming by providing a large topographical map of Wyoming, which those of us who are able to bend spent much of the evening poring over.

Despite these shortcomings, everyone praised McPhee's lyrical prose and rich insights, and in general, found the subject matter fascinating. (If we hadn't been fascinated, we probably wouldn't have been so frustrated by not being better equipped to glean more from the material.) And, we of course enjoyed the too-brief glimpse into the life of a Wellesley sister who braved the extremely harsh conditions of life in early 20th century Wyoming (inspired by what reason we would love to know!) For those who are interested in reading more of McPhee's work, sans geology, Laura recommended A Roomful of Hovings And Other Profiles. Susan K also strongly recommended the film "Heartland," although I missed the precise connection there, I'm sorry to say; I'll hazard a guess that it is Wyoming-related.

The other major event of the meeting was a children's book shower for Henry, who has been attending meetings for several (7-plus) months now in utero (a special exception to our "Wellesley women only" rule). Henry has a wonderful library now which his mother is very eagerly anticipating introducing him to.

ETHEL WAXHAM (LOVE) our fellow Wellesley Alum whom we read about in "Rising From The Plains": Why did she go west from Wellesley to work as a school marm in Wyoming? Thanks to Laura, our resident archivist extraordinare, we now know the answer: Ethel was from Denver. She had a cousin who went to Wellesley, which is how she knew about the college and decided to go there. Ethel's sister had actually applied for the teaching job in Wyoming that Ethel eventually accepted. She was back in Denver living with her Dad and stepmom, not too thrilled with that situation. She took a call for her sister, about the teaching job, and ended up saying she would do it (presumably her sister had taken another position). So, Ethel took the job and ended up teaching in Wyoming, meeting John Love and the rest is history.
 
 

January Extra Innings Doris Grumbach Discussion recapped by Christina

Warm. Witty. Wonderful. Wide-ranging. Tolerant. Compassionate. Everywoman's view of the world. Insightful about inner life. Articulate about close family relations. Such were the comments by our book group about Doris Grumbach's book, "Extra Innings."

Okay. Okay. So the above is a revisionist introduction by one of the few people who liked (and chose) the book. Or, perhaps it describes the experience of a book group in a parallel reality. Take your choice, but for those of you who weren't able to make our January meeting, you have only to substitute antonyms for any of the above adjectives to get a very clear sense of the majority's response to Grumbach's memoir.

We agreed there were a FEW positive aspects: Grumbach's love of nature and the country setting of her retirement home, her level of literacy and voice of an educated reader (although her use of quotes came under attack, too), and her sensitivity to Willa Cather's desire/need for privacy. (Perhaps a driving need of Grumbach's, which would explain why she was reticent about her longtime lesbian relationship, her feelings about her children, her wealth, and a just a few other minor life details. But begs the question that if she treasures privacy so, then why write yet another memoir?)

The words "whine" and "whining" were used often to describe her tone. This prompted a deconstruction of our use of the word and its implications for and about women and whiners. Opinions were varied, but it was agreed that "grousing" -- a very male term -- does not carry the opprobrium of whining, which CAN be a legitimate form of protest or complaint. But, according to the OED, is dependent upon tone of voice, i.e., whining is a complaint distinguished by a querulous or plaintive tone of voice. Geeeezzzz. This is getting realllllly complicated. Why can't we jussst all agreeeee on one thhhingggg....

In a nutshell, I think we'd all agree that this book rates inclusion with some of our other less-than-popular reads, Geek Love and Watership Down. Have I forgotten/denied any? Stay tuned.